Thursday 1 November 2012

The Perils of Internet Dating

 I love the internet as much as the next person.. I use it for everything from ordering groceries to the odd spot of virtual shopping!  But one thing the internet has never given me is a reason to find a potential partner until now.

I set myself up on a very well known "free" dating website about 2 years ago, to be honest I don't know why I did it, I wasn't in the right head space to meet anyone and I didn't have the extra funds to meet up with anyone either LOL! I did meet one lovely guy on there (never in person) and we have kept in touch through Facebook which is lovely so it instilled in me that the website wasn't all that bad!

A few months back after finding out some girlfriends of mine had gone on the site I thought why the heck not! 

So I signed up two months ago - not really that bothered but thought what have a I got to loose?
I tested the water a bit, did a few searches for guys and then was lazy and sat back waiting for them to notice me and send me a message.  

I received a lot of messages as anyone on this site would do, and you really have to trawl through to find the people you really want to talk too!

I have been talking to a few, and although lovely the last guy who was Italian made me want to come off of the site for good.

We spoke for over a month, via email (exchanging pictures), text, phone calls you name it and when it came down to meeting something always came up.  

To say that I had an on-line relationship with this guy might sound stupid to some people but its exactly what happened.  We spoke about everything, kids, home life friends everything - he even spoke to some of my friends on the phone, and as a woman you start to conjure up how this person looks in real life, a photo in your mind comes to life and you think of them with rose coloured specs on.

This guy was and seemed to be everything that I could of wanted in a partner - gorgeous looking, the right age, driven, and family orientated you name it he had it!

But as the weeks went on of talking everything didn't seem to fit right, he let me down on days we were supposed to meet, and we argued loads on the phone.  

Now I am not telling you this as my life story or trying to push you guys into my way of thinking but after this guy and the amount of stuff I found out about him and the lies he told I really don't want any of you to make the same mistakes as me!

Please if you are going to go on these dating websites - don't let yourself get tangled up in a "virtual boyfriend"  Please follow my tips and try and keep strong and safe - 

  • Talk to guys for a week to two weeks MAXIMUM - if they have no intention of meeting you then delete them - don't waste your time, they probably have women lining up in their inbox!
  • Ensure that your friends all know that you are talking to a guy or guys - show them pictures and messages to get their honest opinion on whether its worth meeting.
  • Make sure that you have exchanged photos of all kinds as in - out with friends, side profile, height etc - this might sound extreme but you haven't met this guy yet - you need to get a good basic knowledge of them in all lights LOL!
  • If you do meet them, set a time and date and stick to it, if they cancel on you bin them! Don't give ANYONE second chances, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
  • For your first date I would recommend meeting in a coffee shop in the day time, meaning that if you do get on you can continue the date else where, but if you don't get on you can always go shopping!
  • ALWAYS tell your friends where you are meeting this guy - exact location, time etc - get them to text you or tell them that you will one ring them to give them the nodd if the guy is OK!
  • And PLEASE if it doesn't work out, don't be sad because there are plenty of nice guys out there you just have to keep looking!

I'm still on the dating website and although it's not costing me anything I am still meeting some lovely people, so far I have been on 3 dates with 3 different guys and although nothing came of the dates there's no hard feelings.  You just have to keep looking, I know he's out there for me but at the moment I am in no rush!

I hope you found this post helpful, it's hard meeting a potential partner these days.

Let me know how you have found internet dating??

I'm fiercely independent so meeting Mr Right is on my list but when it happens it happens!

(pictures taken from weheartit)


  1. Great post Claire, I have never done internet dating but I think it might cautiously give it a go, some people have great stories. I think you give some really good advice in your post.
    Im sorry the Italian guy messed you around, I hope you find someone amazing soon! xx


  2. I really like this post.
    Its something that alot more people are doing each and every day and its such a risk.
    I love your tips they are really good and solid.

  3. I meet my Boyfriend on an internet dating site and we have been together 8 years. My sister is engaged to someone she met online so it's not all bad but you do have to be careful and use common sense.

  4. Hey Grace, thanks for the comment.. I will keep you posted! hugs xx

  5. Sugarpuffish - Honey thanks for telling me that.. made me smile. xx

  6. I tried internet dating and was with a guy i met online for a few weeks. Unfortunately i foundvout he was really thinking negatively on all sorts of things. But thats his own problem, not online dating. Of course some guys are creepy and you just dont respond. I like the tips, common sense is a must when dating, even though you havent met the guy online!

  7. argh i'm in too minds about internet dating. I would end up gutted if they werent what i'd dreamt up in my head! great post xo

  8. I love this post, I think internet dating is such a big deal. It's good to hear the truth about these sites and how it works. I hope you eventually find Mr Right! xxx

  9. Thank you very much...The posts whatever you made it was very good and really useful in life.....Keep doing much post still more interesting pics.....


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