As some of you lovelies might of noticed I've been missing in action blog wise the past few weeks.
This is because of a bereavement.
On 13th October 2013 I lost my best friend, surrogate mum, ex boss and all round angel Mags.
She was in hospital for 10 days and then in a coma and then deteriorated so rapidly that we lost her.
She is the reason why I have my blog, she always pushed me in the right direction, encouraged me to make the best of myself and truly loved me very much.
|Mags and her daughter Lily|
She was there for me through everything - problems with my own family, issues with where to live, boy problems, you name it she was there. I lived with her and her husband and her 10 year old daughter Lily for over 2 years. (and I still live there now)
She always made her home my home, and now she isn't here any more I feel lost without her.
Her daughter Lily I love very much but at the tender age of ten it's hard on everyone especially Lily.
I never expected to loose Mags aged 46, I never thought I would have to say good bye... EVER!
But her character, lust for life and infectious personality has made me the woman I am today.
She had so many people that loved her, and it has taken me a long time to muster up the courage to write this post.
I may not of been a blood relative to Mags and her family, but she took me into her heart and has made me part of her family without a second thought.
|Me and Lily Christmas 2012|
Her daughter Lily and I now have a special bond, we have both lost our mum.
We love each other very much and I will always been there for Lily, to watch her grow up, get married and have babies of her own. We are safe in the knowledge that Mags will be watching over us both with excitement.
The one thing that makes me most upset about losing Mags is that I will never get to talk to her again, the last time I saw her in hospital she was her cheeky caring self, we chatted as normal and I told her that "I loved her long-time" and that she had to get better because she was missing out on her favourite show Come Dine With Me!
I'm pleased that I got to see her well the last time I visited that we had a laugh and I told her I loved her because the weekend she passed away it was like looking at a different person, she was so ill and in ICU.
I booked to go to Paris today (25th October and this has been planned for 5 months) a trip that Mags told me to book because I have always wanted to visit Paris, and as hard as it is I am still going on the trip because it's what my Mags would of wanted. So my friend and I are going to find somewhere to toast Mags and tell her that I made it!
One thing this whole sad event has taught me is that Mags has gone but she isn't forgotten and I refuse to let her personality and encouragement die. I will continue to be there for her family, especially Lily and I will continue to blog in Mags' honour and live my life to the fullest and see as much of the world as I can.
Life is so short and valuable, and the past few weeks has made me realise this fact.
So instead of wearing a badge saying "What Would Jesus Do?" I am going to wear an imaginary one saying "What Would Mags Do?" I know that she would be saying to me to pull myself together and get myself moving, so that's what I'm going to do.
I wish I could say Thanks to Mags for everything but I can't, all I can do is love her always.